Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

humor relationships

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Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.

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My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage

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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us,

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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race,

humor philosophy

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Now Darkstripe,' Graypaw hissed to Firepaw under his breath, 'is neither young, nor pretty.

humor warriors

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Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? but realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come

humor

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May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off ever

humor new-year

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Don't bite his face, Eleanor told herself. It's disturbing and needy and never happens in situation

humor young-adult

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Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you some

cynicism humor

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Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.

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After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breas

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Well? Is it true? Did she?""Did she what?""You know. Fall outta the crazy tree and hit every branch

ethan-wate humor

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Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink withrhinestones.

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Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?""It sucked.""Can you be more spec

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Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine pri

PeteSeeger

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No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth.

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There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is si

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Now what state do you live in?''Denial.

denial humor

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What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this.""Amazing at pur

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