Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

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Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, a

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Here is a lesson in creative writing.First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermap

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Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a woo

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I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.

fire humor picket-fence social-commentary

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His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I'm not it.""A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned. I leaned back

humor

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I have been stabbed, shot, burned, bitten, beaten unconscious too many times to count, and even stak

humor vampire

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As my father always used to tell me, 'You see, son, there's always someone in the world worse off th

cynicism humor

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I don't put up with being messed around, and I don't suffer fools gladly. The short version of that

humor

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He who hesitates is a damned fool.

fools humor paraphrased

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People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have

humor insanity

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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will

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A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public

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There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the oth

humor

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Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked,

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THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.

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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

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The only French word I know is oui, which means “yes,” and only recently did I learn it’s spelled o-

french humor

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Ah,” said Magnus. “Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing, while also being an object of mockery and hil

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And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gav

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