My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

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I'm sure I'll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a tur

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We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

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Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselv

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She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag w

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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if

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So much good, so much evil. Just add water.

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Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?""I give.""

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I know - I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."Jasper chuckled and Edward

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Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate

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I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And

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Abe held my gaze a bit longer and then broke into an easy smile. ?Of course, of course. This is a fa

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The human body is the best work of art.

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I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow

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Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

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I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for

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You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.

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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

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So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited

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She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

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